Joining the Club

I remember Cristina Yang on Grey’s Anatomy comforting George when he lost his father. She says…

“There’s a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can’t be in it until you’re in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss… George, I’m really sorry you had to join the club.”

He starts to break down about the visualization of a world where his father is not in it. The scene could not be more real or true to the feeling of losing a parent. Their role is unreplaceable in your life.

I am almost twenty-one years old and as a young woman, my mom was one of my best friends and undeniably half of me.

When people ask “how are you,” I automatically answer “I’m fine.” The truth is I cry sporadically throughout the day and sometimes feel so uncontrollably numb. I have crawled into my shell of melancholy. I fear the future now because all my plans included my mother. I shared with her my dreams and now knowing she will not be there in moments of triumph and failures is terrifying. The world without her– how will I cope?

I search for comfort in condolences, prayers and Bible verses, but I am still searching for it.

With love,

sad and pensive Zoe

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